If you ever have the opportunity to have a conversation with Marvin Echols about your relationship with your wife, you could move away -the feeling you just listened to the synopsis for the best Ava Duvernay or Shonda Rhimes Romance imaginable. His is the story of two professionals promoted: one, a civil engineer, the other a veteran of the United States army, became the queen and queen of the contestant. Over the years, Marvin and his wife have learned to camp each other and contribute to their partner’s career goals, while never losing sight of their love and health of their relationship.
Of course, none of this comes without work. But this is something that Marvin and his wife, the former young lady uses Deshaunna Barber, started working long before they jumped the broom.
Before Miss Barber became Mrs. Echols, the couple had spent three years building a friendship as a foundation. At that time, Marvin continued to build his resume, requesting a degree in the undergraduate school and working to achieve his professional step. And, although he had no idea that the woman he had recently met in the wedding of a friend would be “the only one”, he was already focused on creating stability in his own life that someday would allow him to be a great partner.
Once Marvin and Deshaunna decided to explore a romantic connection, they spent two more years creating the model for their relationship. For Marvin, much of this was to learn what it means to love and live with a soldier.
“He had no real knowledge of the army out of general things you would learn at school related to the history of the United States,” he says. “But I went into this relationship with my wife without expectations. I just wanted to hear how the responsibility or commitment to be with someone in the army is seen from their perspective.”
“I think he did a very good breakdown -me,” he continues. “It takes commitment and commitment, but I think it was so transparent and so honest, I didn’t even have time to create my ideas of what I thought it looked like.”
Taking time to understand what would involve the life of the army was even more important for Marvin, considering that Deshaunna comes from a military family. Becoming an effective couple also meant understanding the nuances of his wife’s experiences as a soldier, as a defender and as a color woman in the armed forces.
“When you think of people who serve, you think of someone who has this duty with the army,” says Marvin.
One of the aspects of his wife’s career he really showed for Marvin was his former role as CEO of the Women Service Action Network, a defense group working to promote politics changes that better meet the needs of women and veteran women.
“I appreciated the nuance of the space in which it was: to support the social causes that affect the North -Americans in all areas of life, while honoring the fact that you are still in uniform,” says Marvin. “Strangely, those humanized soldiers in my eyes. It helped me to remember that, although they can serve together, they are still individuals with their own perspectives.”
In his professional life, Marvin has been leaning in his wife as a perfect couple of brainstorming and poll. This began and continues to include those times when his professional future is planning. He shares that they both take time to explore the best route to address their career goals. Also desaunna the critic designated of presentations and the “defender of the devil” who can present opinions against his work, from the unique point of view of someone who knows how to passionate her husband about her work as a civil engineer in the energy sector.
As they had spent so much time when understanding the experiences lived really, Marvin says he and Deshaunna made a point to put all the heavy letters on the table before they were married. This included everything, from how they would work to support each other’s careers to their opinions on parenting, to how they could manage their future son’s decision to follow the mother’s footsteps and to enlist in the army.
“My advice for anyone in a relationship, whether you serve the army or not, would be to have the fundamental conversations about what my plan looks like, as is your plan and if we are aligned before it even starts planning your wedding,” says Marvin. “Even if there is the alignment, you must find out if you can do it together and effectively. The sooner you have these conversations, the better. I think we did a really good job, so the transition to marriage was a bit like:” OK, we are only running the plan. ”
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