I have always been self-conscious about my lips. They’ve been the subject of discussion since childhood. Despite my efforts to make them appear smaller, I was constantly picked on and teased by my peers in school. Even when I tried to tuck them inside, my classmates would still mimic my appearance whenever I spoke, making me feel even more embarrassed and insecure.

Although I had girlfriends who always supported me when bullies made fun of me, their actions didn’t stop me from feeling inferior. I can still remember the day in class when we were watching a movie about animals, and a shark appeared on the screen. One of my classmates screamed “That’s Larry,” referring to me because of my big lips. I tried many things to make my lips smaller, like applying sugar cubes to them, but the result was always the same – my lips remained big and full. 

This and several incidents led me to plead with my mom to allow me to miss school in order to avoid any bullying. However, my mom refused and advised me that God had given me these lips for a purpose, and I should not pay attention to the bullies and instead focus on my education. I was fed up with being teased by my classmates and was willing to do anything to make them stop. As I grew older, men made unwanted comments and objectified my lips, which caused me discomfort and made it difficult for me to go out or pursue any romantic relationships.

Additionally, I had to use an entire small tub of Vaseline on my lips, but it still didn’t seem to be enough to moisturize and cover them properly. While I did see some celebrities who looked like me on the red carpet, there was a lack of representation in the media. The beauty standards portrayed in the media were often eccentric and unrealistic, and although I saw my favorite celebrities like Brandy, Diana Ross, and Beyoncé embracing their full lips, I couldn’t love myself enough to do the same.

It dawned on me that my lips are an ongoing beauty trend– celebrities and TikTok content creators have popularized lip fillers for a fuller pout. There’s a Lip Filter on TikTok that has over 76 million views, showing videos of creators using the filter to see what they will look like with plump lips. There were a majority who saw a big significance on their pouts, but some only noticed small details. To me, it’s a mockery because I, along with many people, were chastised for having big full lips, which makes me question society’s perception of beauty standards. 

A few months ago, I was at a press trip in Upstate NY and while I was having a conversation with a guest, one man walked up and interrupted our conversation, asking if my lips were real. I immediately stayed silent and kept staring at the man who had the nerve to ask me that question. But I had to remember, we live in a society where we often accept fake over natural beauty. 

There is also a rising bar in the plastic cosmetics industry, pursuing many women, even a few men, to inject fillers or botox to enhance their features. I read countless articles about people sharing their insecurities around having big, full lips and how some are being accused of copying celebrities. Meanwhile, there are multiple people who are paying thousands and thousands of dollars to get two or three syringes to make them look good for Instagram or TikTok. Or, just to look good in general. 

As beauty standards come and go, my lips will remain the same and while I have my days of being insecure, I have to be grateful that God gave me these full lips for a reason.