Sis, I get it! For most working women striving for greatness, raising families, breaking generational curses, and tending to 100 other obligations, fully tapping into the #SoftLife can feel unrealistic. For one, the systems that govern our world aren’t set up for us to relax. And, on social media, the “girlies” make it look easy with their opulent trips, retail therapy, and one-minute TikTok videos that only scratch the surface of what it means for Black women to tap into their best selves truly. You may find it challenging to live a life of leisure and luxury with no wealthy benefactors to fund the lifestyle.

Don’t get me wrong, the #SoftLife movement is needed for our overall health and well-being. However, if you find that your positive affirmations haven’t calmed your anxiety and finding time to rest proves to be futile, then you need to go deeper. Perhaps what’s missing is an essential element of your femininity and the foundation of your spiritual ecosystem: Sensuality. 

Sensuality is often synonymous with sexuality, physical pleasure, and romantic eroticism, but it has much more depth than that. At its core, it is a profoundly personal and intimate practice. Sensuality allows you to engage all of your senses fully: touch, feel, hear, taste, sight, and spirit so that you may open yourself up to harmony and ease.

All Black women deserve this level of flow and freedom in their lives! Here are four practical ways to live the #SoftLife through your senses. 

1. Embrace slowness and your emotions: Don’t let the chaos of everyday life overwhelm you. Take your power back by creating moments to move in slow motion. From taking your time to to sit down to a well-rounded meal to making an herbal bath littered with rose petals after work, going slow is peak soft girl activity! And if you have a bad day, allow yourself to feel your feelings. Taking the time to process your emotions through journaling, prayer, or talk therapy creates a safe space for you to be authentic. 

1. Tune your frequency: Use your mornings to cultivate your energy. Before you do anything, tap into your breath. Breathwork is life-force energy. Ten deep breaths can help you with inner listening, which can only be done when you take a moment to pause and feel yourselves. Ask yourself, “What does my body need? What will bring me happiness today?” as tools to align. Bring vibrancy into your practice by incorporating a singing bowl, lighting a candle, burning incense, and repeating your favorite mantra. Then go forth and savor the day. 

1. Use Movement As Your Medicine: Embodiment activities such as dance and movement are the rhythm of life. A mind, body, and soul connection is activated when you are in motion. Move your body daily through sensual nature walks, somatic exercises, dance, yoga, or deep stretching before diving into anything else. Incorporate pole, burlesque, or twerking classes into your weekly routine to increase your confidence and aura. An erotic woman is a powerful woman! 

1. Prioritize Play, Pleasure, and Adventure: Janelle Monae ushered us into the Age of Pleasure, and we deserve it! Become a pleasure activist by tapping into things that bring you joy. Make an R&B playlist, learn a tantra, create art, make meals that stimulate your palette, flirt, frolic, wear that fly-ass outfit to work just because, and make love all over the house. The point is to do you! Take up space, sis. 

Reset your nervous system with these multi-dimensional activities that balance your inner being and work life. Exploring your sensuality means cultivating a life that is made up of meaningful moments, which is requisite for a life well-lived.